The world’s worst love song

"Afternoon Delight," the world's worst love songWhat is the worst love song of all time? My vote goes for “Afternoon Delight,” a perky song from the mid 1970s by Starland Vocal Band. The opening line, “Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some afternoon delight,” sets the stage for the coy, suggestive lyrics. The song is terrible in every way possible.

The vocal part is arranged for a chorus of male and female voices and sung with a slight twang. The quasi-country arrangement is drained of any vestige of spirit and energy. The odd contrast between the prettified, pure voices and the erotic subject matter (“the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting”) is a disaster.

The whoosh of a guitar glissando accompanies the opening words in the refrain, “sky rockets in flight,” mimicking the sound of a passing rocket (get it?). The chorus has an anticlimactic quality, in fact (perhaps the afternoon delight was not that delightful after all). There is a strange melodic gap after the words “afternoon delight,” then the words are sung again, a little more floridly. It’s unusual to hear such a poorly written refrain in a hit song. Evidently the titillating lyrics sufficiently compensated for some people.

Do you know of a love song that’s even worse?

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